Ox-eyed Queen of Heaven
|Name:||Hera: Queen & goddess of the sky, women & marriage|
|Website:||Hail to the queen|
Let me tell you about Homer.
Homer was a drunk who could only remember the lines when he was three sheets to the wind. Lines that he’d memorized, by the by, not written. That’s right, children, he plagiarized. Sorry to step on your butterfly, but there is the truth.
Not that the others were much better. Herodotus, Hesiod, Plutarch, Ovid, Apollodorus, Pliny the Elder… who, for the record, was an idiot… don’t believe me? There’s Vesuvius, it’s blowing up, and what does the great writer do? He sails from a safe location across the bay to Stabiae to get closer so that he can get a better look. See? Moron.
And so it goes down the line. They were all flawed and lacking, every one of them. Which is probably why not a single one of them ever got anything about my personality right. Oh, they would describe my appearance well, they had eyes, and they were correct in saying I was, am, the most beautiful of goddesses. But my character, my relationship with my husband, none of that was ever recorded in any manner that could be considered fair. It was always biased in his favor, never mine. So of course I came out looking badly.
Perhaps I’m being too hard on them and they were just distracted by the fact that I had breasts. That does tend to decrease blood flow to the brain in most of their kind. But you’d think one of them would be able to avoid the screaming shrew stereotype. Just one. Instead, they spread the ancient world equivalent of the tabloid papers as truth, and that is the legacy they wish me to leave to history.
Idiots. The lot of them. But then what can you expect?
They’re only men.
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